Lovesick
by Le Chat Qui Garde La Lune
Summary: A lovesick Snape desperately tries to keep his love at Hogwarts, and tries to figure out if she loves him the same way.
1. The Final Goodbye

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Lovesick

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For Heather, may she find her Severus. (Or Chichiri, or Richard ;)

Chapter 1- The Final Goodbye

Snape was furious, she had rejected him, Heather Summerfeld had rejected him! Why did this always happen? Why did every Gryffindor always reject him? First Lily Potter, well she had been Lily Evans back then, then Lucy Kirkpatrick-, even the sorting hat in first year had told him that he would be better off in and with Slytherins. Damn the cursed thing. Well maybe, he thought maybe it's me. Maybe I've worked so hard all these years trying to repel people with my fashion, my manner and the way I dress. Maybe I should be nice for once, God forbid. And then and there Severus S. Snape made a resolution to change.

When the students walked into the classroom, most of them screamed. Snape's dungeon had bee re-painted bright pink over the original black, and there was a vase of daisies on the desk. Professor Snape smiled painfully at them. _'Maybe _this_ would get her to notice..._' he thought to himself.

'Hello class!' he said greeting his first class of the last day of term, his seventh year Gryffindors and Slytherins, gads how he detested them both! Well, hopefully he could fake it, this was the last class, thank god. He had better be able to do this well, this was important to him. 

Ignoring the comments about cheering charms, and insanity potions slipped into the pumpkin juice, Snape taught the class the one thing he had promised them he would never do, brew a love potion. Afterwards of course he would have to get rid of it, all fifteen scalding cauldrons full, but for now it was worth it just to see _her_ blush as the class made it. 

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She was the reason he hadn't applied for the Dark Arts job, knowing she deserved it more than he, and should get it when she graduated. Next year, he couldn't wait.

She was by far the brightest pupil he had ever had, but to let her know this would reveal his true feelings, and the entire part of him he had tried to pretend didn't exist for all these long years. It would betray him, his reputation, and his entire self, his very being. 

At first he had mistaken it for appreciation of a bright young soul, then for infatuation, or lust, but now, after seven long years, he was sure it was love. 

Snapping out of his trance, Professor Snape realized that his class time was up. Silently he waved the students out of class, feeling sick at the strange and disgusted looks as well as the mutterings of _'bright pink?'_ he received from them

'Who cares?' he thought to himself 'You've never cared what students thought of you before.' 

'Yes, yes,' he said aloud, 'but this one's different, I love her.'

He wandered almost unconsciously to his storeroom, wondering what on earth he would do with fifteen cauldrons worth full of scalding love potions, Merlin only knew he couldn't just dump it down the drain even though that nitwit _'Professor'_ Lockhart must have showered in the stuff.

This was about when he noticed that _she_ was still in the room.

'Yes, what do you want?' He asked. He realized that he had sounded irritated. Oops, great, now she looked as if she were going to cry. 

'Professor Snape' she stammered. 'I enjoyed your class, I-I'm getting a job at the ministry, good luck with everything.'

Severus just stared at her.

'Goodbye' she nervously pecked him on the cheek and ran out of the room in tears. 

Severus stood there a long time afterwards, his hand lightly touching the place where the woman he loved had just kissed him.

'Goodbye' he called after a while, but it was too late. In a sadder mood than he had been in for almost more than two decades, Severus began very softly, to cry.


	2. Lost Affections

Chapter Two- Lost Affections

He didn't see her off to the train the next day, although he thought about her all summer long. When the Defense position opened up again as predicted, Severus knew that his dreams from the past seven years would go unfounded. 

In his first class of the year with the new Seventh Year Gyriffindor and Ravenclaws, Severus spied a note being read by a certain Ginny Weasley when the aforementioned was supposed to be helping her partner, Colin Creevy with their Sleeping Drought. With a twisted smile Severus walked up to her.

'Miss Weasley' Severus said, pleased with himself. 'Shall you share your note with the class or shall I?'

Ginny turned bright red and gasped 'Oh no! Please don't! I really don't think you should be reading that!' as Severus grabbed the note from her hand.

'Miss Weasley!' he said sneeringly, 'This is my classroom, and I shall do as I please!'

Severus shook the note open, scanning it he could see her name in it, and his, linked with hearts!'

The entire room was silent as Severus read the note through, and then again once more, (just to make sure he had read correctly the first time)

To the students he must have looked a fright, turning ghostly pale and then, was Snape _blushing? _

Meanwhile Ginny was now concentrating very hard on her Sleeping Drought. She knew at least half of what the note contained, and Snape's reading it really was not looking good.

'Very well Miss Weasley.' Said Severus when he had finished. 'See me tonight 7 o'clock promptly for a detention. I will keep the note, I daresay you don't want anyone else reading it, now do you?

'The worst person it could have found it's way to already has.' Ginny muttered.

Severus pretended not to hear, 'What's that Miss Weasley?' 

'Noting sir,' Ginny said above the snickers. The laughter stopped quickly after Severus added on his usual '-And ten points from Gryffindor for your lack of concentration Miss Weasley.

'Oh no Miss Weasley,' Severus thought to himself, 'This is probably the best possible person your note could have found its way to.' By the end of the class the Seventh-years noticed a change in Snape, you could see it in his eyes, it was one of hope, and of complete happiness.


End file.
